Should I break fellowship with Christians who believe in premarital sex?
A young woman recently asked if she should break fellowship with her Christian sibling who believes in premarital sex. Her question was based on Paul’s instruction in 1 Corinthians 5:11, “I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one” (NASB).
Her question is a valid one because many of us encounter believers who are engaged in sexual immorality. Therefore, we must look to the context of 1 Corinthians 5:11 to understand Paul's directive and how to biblically respond to others.
At the beginning of chapter five, Paul sharply addressed the sexual immorality occurring among the Corinthian believers. He rebuked not only those engaged in this ungodly behavior but those who continued to keep fellowship with them. Afterward, Paul instructed the Corinthians “not to keep company” or even eat with other believers who practiced sexual sin.
Paul's seemingly harsh directive to detach from them was not to be done as a punishment but out of love and a desire for them to repent (see 2 Corinthians 2:6-8). However, Paul’s instruction to disassociate was not based on their beliefs about sex but on their immoral actions, which are distinctly different things.
In light of these facts, the answer to whether we should detach from sexually immoral believers is not as cut and dry as it seems. Instead, it is dependent upon a few factors:
If the person in question is a genuine Christian who believes sex before marriage is okay but is not engaged in sexual immorality, Paul’s directive to detach would not apply. Their unbiblical belief could be the result of ignorance, spiritual immaturity, or newness in their faith. Therefore, we should have a heart-to-heart conversation with them about the issue, including what God says about physical intimacy, and pray for their eyes to be opened to the truth.
If the person in question is a genuine believer who is engaged in sexual immorality, Paul’s directive to detach would apply. However, we should first have a heart-to-heart conversation with them about their sinful behavior in hopes of leading them to repentance. If they refuse to repent and continue to sin sexually, Paul’s directive in 1 Corinthians 5:11 would be the next course of action, along with constant prayer for their repentance and restoration.
If the person calls themselves a Christian but has not trusted Jesus by faith for their salvation, Paul’s directive would not apply. Instead, his words in 1 Corinthians 5:9-10 would come into play. He penned, “I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world.”