What Can A Gender Dysphoria Man Do to Feel Included With Women?
[Full Question: “As a Christian guy who suffers from gender dysphoria, why do I feel this way? What are some biblically-acceptable ways I can feel more included with, or counted among women?”]
To answer the first part of your question, I would like to shed some light on why you feel the way you do.
Each of us was born with a sinful nature. As such, we each have greater vulnerabilities or susceptibilities toward certain sins than we do others. For example, some may struggle with the temptation to lie or cheat, whereas others might wrestle with sinning sexually or using foul language. Even as born-again believers, we wrestle with temptations regularly. Though the temptations themselves are not sinful, our responses to them can be. If we resist our sinful temptations immediately, we do not sin. If we entertain or indulge them, we do.
Entertaining or indulging our temptations involves focusing on or nurturing them as well as acting upon them. When we focus on our sinful desires, we automatically amplify them, creating a snowball effect that makes it harder for us to resist them. For this reason, Galatians 5:16-17 says, “I say then: walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.” Paul goes on to say in verses 24-25, “And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”
Having been born male, you are a man in every way. Your biological sex, chromosomes, brain function, hormones, reproductive system, and body strength evidence that God created and intended for you to live as a man. Satan is attacking the battlefield of your mind by lying to you and preying upon your sinful tendencies, hoping you will believe his lies and indulge your temptations repeatedly. He is a master at undermining and twisting God’s truth. The Bible calls him the father of all lies. John 8:44 says, “He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
To answer the second part of your question, you must recognize your feelings of “wanting to be included with or counted among women” as products of your sinful nature. As such, there are no “biblically-acceptable” ways to indulge or engage with sinful desires. However, there are plenty of ways to fight against those temptations, beginning with focusing your attention on accepting and celebrating who God made you as a man.
One of the ways to crucify your fleshly desires is by “feasting” on God’s Word daily. Just like you eat physical food daily to nourish your body and keep yourself healthy, you need to read God’s Word every day to do the same spiritually. The Bible is not a book. It is the living Word of God. It is God’s words written to His children to help them live lives that glorify Him. His Word renews your mind, gives life to your soul, and is essential to gaining victory over sin. Romans 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
As a born-again believer in Jesus Christ, your life is no longer your own. Paul says you have been bought with a price. Therefore, having come to Jesus by faith, your life is no longer about you and what you desire. It is about Jesus and what He wants for you as you submit to Him in humble surrender. It is about seeking to please and honor Him through your life and body in every way.
The Bible says:
And He [Jesus] died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. 2 Corinthians 5:15
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense, either to the Jews or to the Greeks or to the church of God, just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved. 1 Corinthians 10:31-33
Therefore, continue bringing your gender dysphoria before Jesus, asking Him to remove those desires. He does not want you living in bondage to them. He died to set you free from the bondage of sin and your sinful nature. Plus, as a child of God, He has given you the indwelling Holy Spirit to provide you with the power to overcome this each day.
Another tool God gives you when tempted is found in James 4:7-8, “Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” Again, this is about bringing these issues and struggles before Jesus (who already knows you are wrestling with them) and allowing Him to do a transformative work inside you through His Word and the Holy Spirit.
God did not make a mistake when He created you as a man. Because of sin and the fall, you have a sinful nature trying to take charge of you — but you must resist. Take those desires captive and bring them into subjection to Jesus, looking to Him as your source for transformation and deliverance.
