Jesus is a God full of mercy and grace, especially toward those devastated by an unfaithful spouse. Psalm 86:15 says, “But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.”
Jesus also knows infidelity is an extremely painful violation for spouses to overcome because it rips apart the fabric of trust that once existed in their relationship. Adultery is never justified regardless of circumstances but is a self-centered act that violates the marriage covenant.
Although infidelity is inexcusable, Jesus’ ultimate desire is for the cheating spouse to genuinely repent and for the violated spouse to forgive them so they can work toward rebuilding their marriage. However, several factors must be present for reconciliation to occur.
First, the adulterer or adulteress must consistently demonstrate their professed repentance through their words and actions over an extended period. Their visible repentance will help rebuild their spouse's trust and facilitate their forgiveness and healing. Additionally, with Jesus’ grace and intervention, both spouses should make every effort to work through the devastation caused by the adultery and affair-proof their marriage for the future.
However, if genuine repentance is absent or the damage is too severe for the violated spouse to overcome, God lovingly and graciously provided an allowance for divorce in such cases as a last resort. This act releases the violated spouse from their marriage covenant and renders them free to remarry without committing adultery themselves (see Matthew 5:31-32 and 19:8-9).
Regardless of whether a marriage survives the aftermath of adultery, the violated spouse should continue striving toward forgiving their betrayer. If the adulterer or adulteress refuses to repent, they should still work toward forgiveness in their heart so bitterness and resentment do not become permanent residents. For it has been well said that “harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.”
I hope this information helps answer the question of divorce in cases of adultery.
