[Full Question: “My husband and I don’t believe in same-sex marriage. What do we say to our daughter-in-law whose sister and new wife just welcomed their first child and sent pictures to everyone? What do we say to our grandchildren if they ask us about their new cousin?”]
Regardless of how a child comes into the world or what type of family they are born into, they are a gift from God. There is nothing wrong with congratulating parents or family members on their new blessing from God or commenting on the baby’s birth. You can say things like, “Congratulations! What a precious baby God has blessed you with. We will be praying for Jesus to protect (baby’s name) every day and help (baby’s name) grow up into the godly young (man or woman) He created them to be,” or something to that effect. Try separating the birth from the parent’s lifestyle and focus on the baby like you would any other newborn entering the world.
I also encourage you to talk to your son and daughter-in-law about how they plan to address this situation with their children (your grandchildren). Ask them how they would like you to respond to their children if they ask you questions about their cousin or aunt’s marriage. Since your son and daughter-in-law already know your convictions and beliefs, it would be interesting to hear their advice. You are not required to follow their advice, but it would be respectful to ask them since they are the parents and ones God made responsible for raising your grandchildren.
If your grandchildren ask you if gay lifestyles are okay and you struggle with how to answer them, ask yourself, “What would I say in response to them if they asked if lying, stealing, cheating, or bullying were okay? What would I do or say?” Ultimately, you have to remain faithful to what God’s Word says and you believe. Therefore, when your grandchildren ask you questions, quickly pray for God’s wisdom, then answer them honestly.
Finally, try not to let this become a point of division between you, your grandchildren, and their parents. Discussing the issue openly with your adult children and gathering information from them now will help you create your game plan for handling questions from your grandchildren later. Remember, Jesus will always be with you, guiding you along the way.
Here are some Scriptures to encourage you on this difficult journey:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. James 1:5-8 (NIV)
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. 1 John 5:14-15 (NIV)
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 (NKJV)
