[Full Question: “My uncle is an alcoholic. He was recently kicked out of his parent’s house after threatening them. We invited him to stay for the night, but he was constantly going to his car taking swigs of alcohol, despite me trying to stop him. We have sent him a study Bible and constantly referred him to rehab centers, but he refuses to go. I'm afraid to tell him to leave because God calls us to care for people like this and to put the interests of others above our own. I also don't want him living on the streets. But I also don’t know if it’s right to let him continue staying with us since he can be violent. Help!”]
From what you have shared, and as devastating as this situation is, your uncle must be the one to decide to stop drinking and seek help. Until then, nothing you can do will change him or stop his destructive behavior. This is a sin issue that goes beyond alcohol. Alcohol is simply his coping mechanism to escape whatever is going on inside of him. He is also in bondage to his sinful nature, which will not break until he surrenders to Jesus for deliverance and salvation.
Although God’s Word instructs us to love (1 John 4:11) and help others (Philippians 2:4), putting their needs above our own (Philippians 2:3), that does not translate into equipping others to live in habitual sin. From what you shared, the help your uncle needs is salvation and sobriety. Therefore, allowing him to stay at your house without him seeking serious intervention for his alcoholism is not loving Him the way God intends. Instead, it puts your family in danger while allowing him to continue his destructive lifestyle.
Unfortunately, your uncle must experience the full measure of his sinful choices to (hopefully) bring him to his senses and return him to Jesus in complete submission. Much like the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32, he must hit rock bottom until the pain of his predicament is greater than the pain of his alcoholism. Therefore, continuing to provide housing for him does not help.
God does not hold you responsible for your uncle’s choices. If your uncle chooses to abuse alcohol and ends up on the streets or living in his car, those are consequences God has instituted for such actions. They are not designed to punish him but bring him to the end of himself. So, stand on the truth and recognize you are doing your best to help your uncle regardless of whether he sees it that way.
Do not let guilt direct your decisions. Use godly wisdom and discernment and give your uncle over to Jesus in every way. Pray for him while keeping your family safe. Aside from those things, there is not much else you can do. You have already offered him help but he refuses to accept it. Now he needs to be placed into Jesus’ hands to deal with accordingly.
